This Blog is focused mainly on moments that take your breath away...well what can take your breath away more consistently than one simple yet amazing kiss? Your heart and breath quicken, your body goes mysteriously weak and your mind empties of all thought except what is happening between their lips and yours. How long did your most amazing first kiss last? Or even more important once in a relationship how long did your longest kiss last?
While I know in some relationships couples will tell you that they still feel excited when their lips touch the lips of their partner even after years of being together, sadly I think for the most part for most couples, the excitement of the kiss has worn off. Sparked only when they have been away from each other for a while or what I like to refer to as “make up kissing”.
I must say one of the great things about being single over being in a relationship is that you are able to have that much wanted, much anticipated, much desired..."first kiss" over again. It begins with meeting someone you are attracted to and knowing instinctively that at some point in the evening their lips will find yours. It is the almost slow motion moment as they begin to lean into you and you have suddenly no control over your body as you feel yourself leaning in anticipating the connection.
Connection. You can tell a lot about someone through a first kiss. I have had some great first kisses in my life. First kisses that took me by surprise to those who asked permission, to those who simply announced it was time to kiss me. There have been times when that first kiss seems like it took forever to get there and times when it happens so fast, you end up knowing more about their lips than you do them as a person. Each moment, each kiss in it’s own way is fabulous if the timing is right.
Kissing is an art. The kisser cannot be overbearing or what I call the “face eaters”. They cannot be sloppy where you feel as if you just got kissed by the wet mouth of a dog. It has to be performed with feeling and thoughtfulness. I relate it maybe to an artist drawing a picture, kissing is what he sees in his mind before he begins, then slowly delivers that idea onto a canvas.
Great kissing in some ways is like a great relationship, if matched correctly becomes about give and take where both parties are equally up to the task of leading or following depending on the moment. You may take the lead for a moment and then give that lead back to the other person to explore and create.
Through kissing you can also tell how much someone is into you. If they avoid the lips you know that they are not looking for intimacy or maybe if in a relationship you have drifted apart. Doubt me? Think about it…in a relationship what is the first thing to go? The kissing. Still don't believe me...remember when you first meet someone and no matter what the age you can sit or lay and kiss them forever? Then over time the kissing becomes "hello dear how was your day" or almost an afterthought because your lips just happened to connect with theirs as you pass in the night. You have to like or enjoy someone to want to kiss them on the lips.
My personal thought...the lips are judge and gate keeper to your soul and to your heart. Remember what Julia Roberts said to Richard Gere in the movie Pretty Woman..."no kissing on the lips...too personal". Real kissing mandates a level of connecting with someone or staying connected to them that require the participants of the great kisses to be in tune with each other, connected to some degree emotionally as well as physically if even for just that moment.
I must say that without a shadow of a doubt, to describe my most amazing kissing experiences...the greatest kissers pay attention to the moment, not thinking ahead, not rushing, just experiencing as they go, taking each moment as if it were the last moment they might have with you. In other words...you know without a shadow of a doubt that you have been kissed with more than just their lips.
Okay...now that I got that out of my system and finally put it down on paper... time to go out and put my words to action and find me that next first great kiss!
Debra xoxo
