"If you don't set a baseline standard for what you'll accept in life, you’ll find it's easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that's far below what you deserve.”
~ Anthony Robbins
Baseline standards. What are those in our lives? Are they the morals we were taught as children, are they the character qualities that have developed in us over the years? Are they just some line we have in the back of our minds that we promise ourselves we will never cross? Are they in addition to those items, things we fall into like negative actions or situations that happened to us that in looking back we are surprised we allowed them to happen? Whatever they are I think I can speak for all of us when I say we we have all slipped and fallen short of our baseline standards at some point if not often in our lives.
So what happens when we say we are going to be one kind of person and find ourselves pulled for one reason or another into a direction we know is wrong for us. I wish we could say that "we had no clue we were going there" but we do, don't we? I mean there is always that little voice in the back of our heads that is whispering..."hey, you do remember this is wrong for you and not right don't you?" It isn't always a huge jump across the line, most times at least for me I have found is that it is often small movements toward the line until I am standing directly on the line and then suddenly step off onto the other side. Most times I jump quickly back but there have been a few times that once across I think...well this is not so bad, I think I might be able to hang on for a while. Then days, weeks or months later I find myself looking back thinking how far I have come off my course and make my way once again back across the line.
Some times in life we allow things to happen to us because we think we have no choice but to exist this way. For example I was married for 14 years to a man who's behavior to me was something that I would never tolerate today. However back then I was not as strong as I am today and allowed it to happen to me not once but many, many times over those 14 years. When I finally was strong enough to break the cycle and walk away, I was so angry and resentful toward him, I can remember the hatred I felt. That was until I realized one day that the reason I was so angry was not because of him, I was angry at me...for it was me that allowed him to have that behavior. He would never have been able to do those things had I not allowed it. It was me that did not have the courage to do anything about it all those years. Once I realized this and that it was me I had to forgive I was able to move past that anger and resentment. It is the prime example of "baseline standard of what I would accept" and then "slipping into a quality of life far below what I deserved".
On the flip side of that maybe there are some of us out there that are acting in a way that in years to come we will look back and see they are behaviors or a quality of life far below what we thought we would be living. I'm not speaking financially, I am speaking ethically or morally. We all fall into this I am sure at some point or another, they become the "skeletons in our closet" or the "time in our life we are not too proud of".
So how do we keep from falling into the trap of allowing others to lower us below our baseline or fall ourselves below our baseline standards? I would say that's easy but in reality it isn't. It takes both courage on the side of not allowing others to pull us down and to remain above board on our behaviors. I think if you are someone that has been pulled down before like myself you might be almost hyper sensitive to the things that would pull you down again. I know in my life my intuitions and instincts have developed to a level that now in all honesty is hurting me rather than helping me. I have become so proactive in not allowing anyone to pull me in that direction again I probably have missed some moments that never would have gone that direction in the first place.
As for how we can keep ourselves from falling into those behaviors or standards far below what we deserve? Now if we are honest with ourselves...it is about having the will power, commitment, and dedication to ourselves to stay away from those temptations or moments that pull us away from our goals for our lives. It is as brutally simple yet challenging as that.
Debra
